


Lady Luck

by vincentadultman



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Humanstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-13
Updated: 2015-01-13
Packaged: 2018-03-07 09:06:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3169256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vincentadultman/pseuds/vincentadultman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vriska and Terezi get involved in an office prank war.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lady Luck

**Author's Note:**

  * For [eightbots](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eightbots/gifts).



### MONDAY

"Hey, check this out!" Vriska called to Terezi from her cubicle, kicking her red-sneakered feet up onto her desk and gazing admiringly at her monitor. "I'm remote viewing Equius's computer, and look what I did!"

Equius was not only one of those users who might actually try to use the CD drive as a cupholder, but who also called the adult women in the IT department "little girls" and insisted that merely having their "feminine energies" near the equipment was probably what was responsible for whatever technical problem he'd just caused by himself.

"Omigod," Terezi giggled as she watched the screen through her red-framed cats'-eye glasses; Equius was trying to click his desktop icons, but unbeknownst to him, Vriska had replaced his wallpaper with an unclickable screenshot. Terezi could even hear his annoyed grunting across the cubicle walls. "This is amazing. Wait, we can definitely do some even better stuff." Terezi settled in cross-legged on the floor of Vriska's cubicle and pulled out her laptop, typing furiously as she started to set up her own pranks.

### TUESDAY

"What the hell…?" came Equius's gravelly voice from his nearby cubicle.

"YOU H4V3 833N PR4NK3D 8Y TH3 SCOURG3 S1ST3RS," the screen announced in a cheesy blood-dripped gothic font, the characters fluttering between letters and numbers as they were manipulated by the script Terezi had written and deployed. "83W4R3!! W3 4R3 C0M1NG FR0M 1NS1D3 YOUR C0MPUT3R!"

Vriska and Terezi clung to each others' arms, shaking with laughter they struggled to keep silent, alternately peering over the edge of the cubicle to peek at the man's confusion and checking Vriska's monitor to see Equius's screen mirrored.

Equius started to click frantically, but this didn't help him at all. With each click, another window popped up with a similar shifting message; not only that, but each click launched a separate process that started a sound file playing at intervals.

"HONK! … HONK! … HONKHONK! HONK! … HONKHONK! … HONK! HONKHONKHONK! HONK!"

As the honks coming from Equius's computer grew louder and more frequent, Terezi and Vriska collapsed to the floor in hysterics.

"You're amazing," Vriska whispered.

"I know," Terezi replied.

### WEDNESDAY

Vriska tented her long fingers on top of her cubicle and peered around the room in anticipation. "Hahaha! **snort** Ha! Haha!" came from the next cubicle.

Vriska leaned over the wall. "What's so funny, Gamzee?" she asked nonchalantly.

"Haha! Motherfuckin' Scourge Sisters! That's a laugh and a half!" The dripping letters flashed across his screen, their reflections dancing on his slack face. Everyone in the office knew that Gamzee came to work stoned way more often than not, but he seemed ultimately pretty harmless. "Vriska, look at this bitchin' shit! Check out the **colors**!"

"Heh," she said, smothering a self-satisfied giggle. "I wonder what that's about?"

"I dunno, man, but it sure is pretty." He leaned back in his chair and wiggled his fingers in the air. "Motherfuckin' colors, man." He leaned forward to click, and doubled back over in breathless laughter as his speakers let out a loud "HONK!" "Hahaha, that's rich! HONK! HONK HONK!" He clicked again, and again, and the HONKs piled up, filling the cubicle with sound. "HONK! Motherfuckin' HONK, man!" he wheezed through his giggles. "Sometimes I can't even, man, you know?"

"Hee," Vriska said. "That's pretty funny, I guess!" She covered her mouth with her hand, hiding her expanding grin.

"HONKHONK! HONK! …. HONK! HONKHONKHONK!" blared the speakers.

"Hahahaha mother-" Gamzee leaned back in his chair and was cut off as he leaned too far and fell over entirely. Vriska couldn't resist a burst of louder laughter at this. Her neighbor lay on the floor next to his toppled chair, laughing delightedly. "Just – just, motherfuckin' HONKHONK, man!"

### THURSDAY

Terezi stormed into Vriska's cubicle, shouting. "What the hell!?"

Vriska blinked faux-innocently behind her round lenses. "What do you mean?"

"Pranking Equius was one thing, but Nepeta doesn't deserve this!" Across the room, the shy technical writer was backing away from her computer, her face reddening, as the machine blared its increasingly-loud "HONK!"s to the room and the others in the office turned to look at her.

"I didn't choose to prank Nepeta." Vriska raised her eyebrows at Terezi, daring her to disagree.

"You didn't… you didn't **choose**? Vris." Terezi stood up straighter and glared at her insouciant friend. "What exactly are you up to?"

"Why, nothing!"

"Come on."

"It's not me. It's… **fate**!" Vriska curled her lips into a smug, lopsided grin. "I made a little modification to the script. Now it's up to the dice who the next victim is. A new one every day."

"Vriska! Just look at poor Nep." They turned their heads toward her. Nepeta was standing near the entrance to her cubicle and appeared to be trying to shrink her tiny frame and embarrassment-pink face entirely inside her oversized green coat.

"It was fine with you yesterday, when fate chose Gamzee."

"Fate! Vris. I thought **you** chose Gamzee. And he thought it was funny, so that was alright. But Nepeta's not laughing. She's really scared! This isn't fair, Vriska."

"Fair! Is life fair, Terez?"

Terezi huffed. "Well, okay, I guess life **isn't** fair, but it should be!"

"Should shmould." Vriska's grin expanded and she waggled her long fingers in the air. "Let Lady Luck decide!"

### FRIDAY

"Terezi!" Vriska shouted, her long hair streaming out behind her as she marched into her friend's cubicle. "Have you been pranking me?"

"Why, no!" Terezi said, fluttering her eyelashes behind her glasses. "Though I suppose you never do know who will get randomly selected."

"Well, it's not funny! When I tried to turn the sound off, the program erased all yesterday's files!"

Terezi giggled. "Yeah, I guess there's always a… **chance** the script could do that."

"But it's not **fair**!" Vriska whined, kicking the bottom of Terezi's cubicle wall with a sneakered foot. "Now I have to do everything over again today!"

"Well, Vris, sometimes life isn't fair," Terezi deadpanned, staring straight into her friend's face.

"Terezi! Did you do this?"

"Oh, no, I didn't **choose** to do this to you." Terezi clasped her hands behind her back, keeping her laughter suppressed. "Let Lady Luck decide, right?"

"Grrrr!" Vriska shouted, and clenched her fists. "Not fair. Grrr." She stomped off, angrily, back in the direction of her own cubicle.

"Heh." Terezi stretched her lips into a self-satisfied smile as she turned back to her work. "Let Lady Luck decide, indeed. Of course, sometimes you have to load the dice in order to balance the scales…"


End file.
